What division and not fitting in at Church has led me to do...

So last night I was trying to write a new post on division. How upset and troubled I was at all the division I see all around. The subject always led me back to exclusion going on  in the Church, how I have never fit in and what a constant struggle that was for me. It kept sneaking into what I thought I was supposed to be writing about. I would turn the page and start writing all over again just to be back on to my sadness over fitting in. By the fourth time I started over I gave in. God was clearly showing me something. I came to this conclusion...
 I am sick of hitting up against that social wall, so sick of it that I am now going to a church  that I know I will never fit into just so I don't feel I have to try. Don't get me wrong, it is a great church. The kids are blossoming and the messages are great. Any who I am trailing off..... As I was writing last night I began to cry. I cried for me at first, but I also cried for all the women who have tried to find a place and left, never to know just how inclusive Jesus really is. Can you imagine Jesus not inviting you in just because you weren't the "right" kind of person. The idea is laughable because it is so far from who He is. For some time now God has been calling me to start a bible study at home. I have always been excited about the idea but never started anything because, well, what if no one shows? God told me if no one shows I am to do the study anyway. AAAAHHHH so scary! Today I made an event on Facebook and invited women from town to come. I cant back out now!!! Again AAAAAHHHH so scary!!! Our first study will be about the Work of the Spirit. It's a non denominational study so that everyone can come . Let those dividing walls fall down!! Every woman is welcome to come to my house the first Thursday of every month at 7 pm to share in Gods word. I hope to see you here.

Love, Ashley B.