The post I have been dreading to write...

Some of you who follow my blog may be wondering how my family resolution is going. How is clean eating, no fast food, and sugar free lifestyle working out for us? To be honest it's hard and we have backslid. Now when I say backslid I dont mean a gentle small kiddie sized slide, No I mean the terrifiyng several stories tall, scream your head off all the way down kind of slide. You know like the one at the water park...
There are, in my opinion, several reasons I let it go this far.

First, I was losing absolutly no weight or inches and became super discouraged. As of today I have weighed the same as I did the day I got pregnent with Jax and continued the same weight the entire pregnancy! Writing this is making me sad as I was hoping to share good news.

Second, I have no will power to say no to fast food and cookies. If my husband wanted it he got it, and as a good submissive wife I couldn't say no to him right? (or so my addiction told me). He is severely addicted to sugar and was drinking soda far earlier then I knew he was. His mother spilled the beans on accident to me. To be honest it crushed my spirit to learn he was drinking soda. I thought I needed him on board to help me stay clean and if he couldn't then how could I? It's not his fault really. I was just letting him be my excuse for giving in to the food.

Third, I get sick of cleaning my kitchen. Cooking at home makes big messes. Lots of dishes to be exact. I hate dishes and so does everyone else in the family. Some nights I just dreaded the idea of cleaning the kitchen for the third time that day. This is just something I need to get over.

So what now?

My husband has admitted he feels worse drinking soda everyday. I will admit I feel awful for so many reasons about my food choices. But what to do? I can continue to feel guilty and horrible while eating my Famous Star and cookies letting the devil convince me I will never have the strength to take care of my own body, or I can ask God for forgiveness for not taking better care of myself and letting negative thoughts rule how I behave.

I am going to start all over again. I am not a slave to my own flesh (Romans 6:18). I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). I need to remember it is not just food I am fighting against, because its not. If the devil can keep me hating myself over how I eat and look he is keeping me from being a beacon of Christs joy and love. So I will remain in prayer and hourly ask God for His strength.

Love,
Ashley B